1/49 A Moment for My Tears
This reflection is a part of my yearlong project, Present at 49: An Invitation to Notice.
The sun was yet to rise as I stood in front of the stove in my pajamas, stirring the spaghetti sauce. It almost felt meditative, and in that moment, I felt at peace.
And then the tears flowed.
I swiped the wetness from my eyes. But then I stopped trying to stop the tears, as I’d so often done in the past.
What am I feeling, why am I crying?
As I leaned over the kitchen sink, hands on the cool stainless steel basin, I knew that these were not the silent hidden tears of despair or fear, nor were they the violent, uncontrollable tears of frustration or anger.
The tears were a celebration of a heaviness lifted, a letting go of burdens. It was like I was dropping the last thread of a giant backpack I’d been carrying on my shoulders for so many years, full of old ways of being and doing.
The tears came as a realization through the very mundane task of preparing lunch (and leftovers for dinner) that I wasn’t feeling a time crunch, I didn’t feel anxious, I didn’t feel burdened having to make spaghetti as one of my multiple endless to dos.
The tears were a sign of changes in me. That if I could feel calm and at peace in this moment, then it can also be my way of being in other aspects of life too.
Just as the sun rises and rests each day, showing us the contrast between light and dark, I saw the contrast between how I felt before and how I feel now.
And that is something to remember.
A Reflection for You
Is there a shift you’d like to make in your own life, or are you sensing a shift happening, even quietly? What would it mean to pause and notice it?
Related Podcast Episode
I had an honest conversation with holistic wellness specialist, trauma coach, and Reiki Master Preeti Kapoor about her deeply personal journey which was sparked by a heartbreaking question from her young son:
“Mom, will you ever be happy again?”
Tune in to E21: Choosing Peace to Reconnect with Kidsof Raising the Next Gen podcastto hear Preeti’s experience and the contrast she created between her mindset and being before and after this life-changing moment.
Click here for more episodes and don’t forget to hit the follow button to get notified when episodes drop!
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