2/49 A Moment for the Easter Egg Hunt
This reflection is a part of my yearlong project, Present at 49: An Invitation to Notice.
I’m trying to complete something on my to-do list, and the kids are pestering me again: “Can we have an Easter egg hunt this year?”
My knee-jerk reaction is to say, “Aren’t you too old for that? We haven’t had an Easter egg hunt for a few years now.” (The kids are 12 and 14 at the time of this ask.)
“No, we’re not, it’ll be fun,” they say.
“I can just get you some chocolate from the store,” I respond distractedly.
They leave me for now, but I know they’ll be back with the same questions later. Now I’ve forgotten what I came downstairs to do (I’m going to say it’s perimenopause), so as I’m pausing, my mind wanders and something else occurs to me.
As parents, we say things like the kids are growing up so fast, or that they don’t want to hang out with us anymore.
And here was an example of my kids wanting to be kids, and wanting to do something to connect with me.
There was something deeper though. A realization surfaced, a truth that I was not aware of before, and that I almost bypassed.
It was this thought that the kids have so much that I didn’t have when I was a kid. The younger me is jealous, perhaps resentful of my kids: the opportunities, the material things, the experiences, the closeness with their parents that I didn’t have when I was younger. And this is causing the present me to worry that they take it all for granted.
It’s uncomfortable to feel this, to know it and face it. When I was a kid, I wouldn’t have asked my parents about Easter egg hunts because I knew it would be a no. That immediate reaction I had earlier came from that version of myself, a reaction passed down from my parents. The idea that such an activity is frivolous, childish, and not a good use of hard-earned money.
I realized that I didn’t need to repeat this thought pattern, that I didn’t need to say no as a reflexive action. I don’t have to say yes all the time either. I can choose when to say yes based on our family’s values and our current means.
I could do this Easter egg hunt easily. The kids were just asking for a bit of fun over the long weekend, and a simple hide-and-seek game of find some chocolates around the house.
And so I said yes to the Easter egg hunt.
They woke up on Easter Sunday with anticipation and joy, and found the dozen or so chocolates and a bubble tea gift card while I gave hints of “hot and cold.” It took all of 10 minutes to find all but one item, and another 10 to find the last one because my perimenopausal brain showed up again and I temporarily forgot where I placed it.
Afterwards, we made waffles and eggs together for a nice little Easter brunch, with chocolate for dessert, of course.
P.S. A note to self: draw a mini-map of where things are hidden for the next Easter egg hunt!
A Reflection for You
Have you noticed any patterns of knee-jerk reactions to something kids, friends or colleagues have said? Take some time to reflect on the deeper story behind those reactions. How might you respond differently?
Related Podcast Episode
I explored fostering a sense of wondering with my podcast guest Vicky McGrath on E22: Sparking Wonder Through Stories and Science on Raising the Next Gen podcast.
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